Learning about life

I've moved!

2008-09-19T16:17:42Z

No, not to a new house...to a new blogging journal site.
Back in June I started to use blogger.com as another journal site.
I've been with LiveJournal since 2000. My account is actually considered an early adapter since I got my account when LJ was just starting out. I've liked LJ a lot actually...I've had times when I blogged a lot and other times when I did...but it was always here.

Why switch to blogger.com? Well, I did want to try out a new blog. I have felt LJ has sort of fallen back a bit. They've been on the forefront of blogging for a long time....they've had some great features and functionality...but it just seems to have gotten a bit stale. (As you see in my last rant, I wasn't able to easily search for a past post in my archive. WTF?). But also, blogger is owned by google and I've gotten in bed with google on so many their other products and thought I'd try out their blogging service too. So far I like it and I've made a few posts in it since June.

So with out any further delay...come join me at my blogger site here: chrisgarcia9182.blogspot.com
You'll notice that on the right hand side of my blogger site, I have my latest twitter entry and a random slide show from my flickr pages. Also, you'll see my skype status. Also, I use a program on my cell phone called fring...it's sort of a instant message type program. Anyway, when I'm logged into fring on my cell phone, you'll be able to see when I'm on-line and can even chat with me via that fring widget on my blogger page. It's pretty cool, actually.

So what about this LJ account? Well, I'll keep this account active for sure and might even blog in it from time to time, but I think I'll try to keep the blogger account more up to date. I hope to see you there.
BTW, here are my first entries from June.

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Now playing: Pearl Jam - Indifference
via FoxyTunes

No Search for you

2008-09-19T15:37:04Z

I was looking for a specific LJ post I did in the past. I don't know the date or even year of the post. I poked around for awhile trying to find a way to search for a phrase but finally came to a FAQ on the LJ help pages. Apparently there is no direct way to do what I'm looking for. What the fuck livejournal?! You have no way to do a search in your own journal? WTF? That's just stupid. I guess there is some non-LJ site that will index your public entries (assuming you've turned on that feature in your profile configuration.) How lame is that a blogging site doesn't have a search feature?

Anyway....I am blogging again...more on that later....

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Now playing: Natalie Merchant - Where I Go
via FoxyTunes

Electing a president in the U.S.

2008-07-30T18:21:19Z

A computer, a camera, a piece of candy and a 16 year-old

2008-07-05T19:00:55Z

knife day

2008-06-20T15:30:32Z

Today I go in for my gum graft procedure. I'm not looking forward to it...but it has to be done...I guess.
Also, today is my official separation day from work....I'm officially unemployed. I'm not looking forward to it.

My New Glasses

2008-06-18T04:10:09Z

I picked up my new pair of glasses today.
Picture these in black marble instead of what this picture has:

Three weeks

2008-06-13T07:16:54Z

I've been out of work for three weeks now. Since I started working in 1994, this is the longest period of time I've not been working. I've never taken a vacation longer than two weeks. I have no solid leads....I have my resume on dice.com and careerbuilder.com. I did see one job on careeerbuilder.com that looked like a job I would be able to do and it was local...sort of. We'll see if they get back to me.

Thanks to my parents and my nephew, Michael, my backyard got quite a cleaning....we worked hard one day a few weeks ago...and trimmed it down a lot. I still have more to do, but I looks better than it was before.

Both Maya and I had eye appointments...she's fine...and my eyesight hasn't changed much...but I am getting a new pair of glasses..and they are really, really different from anything I've ever had. Not sure if or when I'll wear them...as the glasses I currently have are still good. I'll wear the new glasses for the shock value.

I go in next week for the gum graft on my..gums. I'm not looking forward to that.

Maya has started swim lessons..and I'm really surprised how well she's doing. She hasn't really been too terribly afraid of the water...and in fact says she has fun with it. The lessons are from 12:00 to 12:30...over lunch. I'm glad I've been able to take her...if I was working, I don't think I would be able to take her. I've been spending a lot more time with Maya...which I like. She's a fun person to be around...and I think we get along fairly well. Just being able to be around her as she takes in the world around her is awesome...and she is so verbal so I get to hear a lot of what she is thinking and feeling.

Well, that is all for now...I'll try to keep updating my journal..I know I have at least a few visitors that still read it. [Hi Lisa]

Last one picked

2008-05-23T15:31:08Z

Not sure why this past event came to mind while I was taking a shower this morning, but it did.

Background:
My family relocated to California when I was in the middle of the 6th grade. Between the 6th grade and 7th grade, my family moved from a rental to a house we bought and this meant that again, I would have to start a new school as the new house was in a different school zone.
So, I started my 7th grade as "the new kid".

Story:
Early on in the school year, our PE class was playing basketball (co-ed). The teacher had selected two captains to select their teams in the typical back-and-forth method (I take Johnny, I'll take mary, etc.) Well, as the two captains took turns picking the team, I very quickly knew I was going to be the last one picked. I think it was just me and some girl. And sure enough, I was the last one picked. Nobody....nobody likes to be the last one picked when it comes to something like this. So, with no other choice, the last captain took me. In truth, I don't think he even called out my name...I just walked over to his team. But as I was walking over to his team, I heard the teacher say out loud but to no one in particular, "I thought he would have been the first one picked." As I knew, I was pretty good at basketball...at least as far as PE goes and I was starting my growth spurts so I was taller than most of the kids. I don't exactly know how I did during that specific basketball game, but I don't ever remember being picked last again.

The Five Stages

2008-05-23T05:09:02Z

While I'm not exactly sure this wikipedia article on the "Five Stages of Grief" directly applies to me or not, but I can see me going through some of these stages when thinking about being laid off of work:

The stages are:

Denial: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why me? It's not fair."
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my children graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."

I can already see that for the past month or so I was in denial that I would be let go...despite the fact I've stayed late most days this week to throw out 9 boxes of old binders, books and stacks of papers.
And now...just 12 hours after being let go, I can feel some anger inside of me. Anger toward the "process" which I was selected to be let go. I thought of so many things I wanted to say or should have said to the manager that delivered the notice to me. I understand that in truth nothing I would have or could have said to him at 8:15am in my office would have changed anything. Based on the exit process I went through...they had my name on so many packets and custom letters and forms with my name already filled in. In retrospect, I really do believe they had the list finalized for more than a week now...if not even way longer. They were just waiting for today to execute the decisions that were made by people who really didn't take the time to research the skills, knowledge and abilities of the people they would be letting go. The fact the process of selecting which employees would be totally excluded from being let go (given an Golden Pass, if you will) was even more subjective and done without any rigor or fairness angers me even more.

I just hope I get to stage five sooner than later.
I went through these stages before....I'm no stranger to them. I really was first introduced to them after the breakup of my first girlfriend. It took a very long time to get to stage 5 then...somewhere on the order of 5 or 6 years. I don't have to luxury of time or youth to take that long this time around. I have just a few weeks...if even a few...perhaps 1 week at the most.

They called it "Involuntary Separation Program" (ISP)

2008-05-22T18:31:52Z

This morning I was laid off of my job due to an Involuntary Separation Program. From my notice layoff letter:
"This layoff is necessitated due to a lack of funding or lack of work."

I like how they had to make it extra clear:
"You are not to report to work effective May 23, 2008."

I'll get a severance package of 8 weeks of pay, plus the ~14 days of vacation I have..and in lieu of a 30 day layoff notice, I'll get pay for the next 30 days.

There is a lot of paperwork stuff I'll still have to read through and they are having a job fair next week that I'll attend.

I'm trying to keep a positive mindset now...but in truth I don't know if this really has set into me. It's still sort of surreal.
I really need to use the next few weeks very wisely.

I'll have to document later the surreal experience it was to go through the check out process this morning. From the time I was personally notified to when I was driving offsite was about 60 minutes...so it all happened very quickly.

Good news was that Angeline wasn't let go...I'm so very glad about that...I was really worried about her position...but for now she seems to be saved from this ISP.

More later, I'm sure.

Landslide

2008-05-19T06:29:07Z

This old Fleetwood Mac song came across my MP3 player while driving to my parents' house and even though I had arrived at my parents', I had to sit in the car to finish the song...I just like this song and how it sounds.

Possible Future Jounal Entry: Emotional Detachment

2008-05-18T05:54:46Z

I'm pretty beat after Maya's birthday party today...but I have an idea for a future journal entry that I might write....it would be called "Emotional Detachment."

NIN, Work, Birthday Parties

2008-05-06T07:13:40Z

I downloaded Nine Inch Nails' totally free album, The Slip. I've never really listened to NIN, but have heard some of their music. Not bad, I guess. I do like this idea of giving away their album...interesting idea. I must say, after I downloaded The Slip, I almost felt compelled to go buy one of their earlier albums...I might still buy "Year Zero" at Amazon...16 tracks for $8. Not bad.

--

Work. I was busy today...almost non-stop. Due to organization changes that have been in the works for months, my work group is merging various computer systems with three other IT support units. I'm on two of the consolidation teams and I've been busying working on both of these teams. In general, things feel bleak at work....in just a few weeks 535 people will be laid off of work....I might be one of them. Today our administrative assistant (secretary) who has only been working here for less than 2 years (but is not in the class of employees who might be laid off) gave her two weeks' notice. She found employment elsewhere. She felt she would be left go at some point in the near future. I can't really blame her for looking for a new job. She's very young...like 23 or 24. The bad part is that in the short time she was with this group, she gained a lot of knowledge in one of IT areas that is being merged together and her domain knowledge in this area will be missed.

--

Maya's birthday party is just a few weeks away and the invitations (evite) have finally been sent out. At one point the invitation list was about 70 people including adults and kids. That's just crazy. Linda and I have had several discussions on the size of this party. I had misgivings on inviting so many people and found it completely odd Linda didn't see the problem with it. We have very different thoughts on several things. As it stands, I don't even know if half of the people that were invited will end up coming. In the end, I think it's better to have a slightly larger party than Maya having two or maybe even three birthday parties...which would have likely happened.

One of the more difficult things with being a parent is knowing when, where and how to place limits on things for your child. On one hand, you want to do everything for your child...but you have to remember that part of being a parent is helping your child to become more independent and to *not* have your child build a sense of entitlement to getting everything they want. I find this one of the harder things to deal with in my quest of being a parent.

Voice Post

2008-05-01T17:58:50Z

5/1/08 my badge

2008-05-01T16:54:22Z

Yeah...I'm bored.

5/1/08 jury duty

2008-05-01T16:39:26Z

I'm waiting at the courthouse for my 3rd day of service...and jury selection hasn't even started yet. Last week we filled out a questionaire. Yesterday we showed up only to find out something was up with case and we would have to come back today...so here I sit in what used to a small phonebooth alcove thing..waiting for our courtroom to open up. Glad I have my phone at least. I also have a book to read...but I'm sleepy.

life passing by

2008-04-25T06:19:56Z

I haven't been writing in my blog much lately. I think I've mostly been writing on my twitter account instead....it's just so much easier to write about my life in 140 characters or less at a time.

Let's see if I can just do a quick shotgun approach to a journal entry...in no particular order:

I'm sort of on jury duty...I went yesterday and had to fill out a 20 page questionnaire; I report back next Wednesday to see if I've been chosen to sit on the jury. The case should last about 8 days.
I've postponed my gum graft procedure to June because of the jury duty...and the fact I'm not looking forward to having it done in the first place.
Maya turns 4 in a few weeks and her birthday party is getting out of control with the number of people we're going to invite.
I find out on May 22nd if either Angeline or I will be laid off of work due to budget cuts, poor planning, bad decisions...blah, blah. (Or maybe it was great planning and good decisions....I can't decide.)
My nephews are growing up so fast; two of them are taller than me. Two are driving. They're dating and breaking up. They are talented- they act, sing, play baseball, have jobs, draw, play the guitar, write their own blogs...they are growing up. They often make me laugh. They often impress me. (They play a TON of video games.) I do wish I was able to spend more quality time with them. Next year all four of them will be in high school.
I recently attended a birthday party of an old friend whom I've sort of lost contact with over the past few years. It was nice seeing him again. As a surprise to the birthday boy, an out of town friend flew in...it was nice to see him again too.
Last week I had dinner with Mike, Kelly and Joe....it's been well over a year, if not two, since the last time the four of us have had dinner together.
Also last weekend I attended an annual Picnic Day/Open House at my college...got to hang out for a short period of time with some old college friends.
For the first time in their lives, my parents don't have to use an outdoor antenna to watch TV as we got them a satellite dish. I don't think my mom likes it, but I think my dad does.
After about 6 weeks of dealing with a virus/trojan/worm/whatever on my computer, I think Norton finally...finally..detected it and fixed it.
I still love my Eye-Fi SD memory card for my camera...it's great.
I continue to be impressed and in awe of the developing brain, personality, intelligence, humor, maturity and love of my daughter.
Parenting can be hard. Parenting can be simple.
Every day of parenting is an investment in the future with the expectation of zero return.
U2 is timeless.
My parents have spent a lot of money over the last year on home repairs.
Angeline has spent a lot of money over the last year on car repairs.
I've spent a lot of money over the last year on gas and eating out.
My dad continues to recover from his lung procedure...and has his good days and his not-so good days. His eyes are starting to fail him.
My mom....never complains about her physical pains.
My parents argue over nothing.
Angeline is the only one in my life that wouldn't need to read this journal entry.
I do miss writing in this journal.

It's now time to watch tonight's episode of The Office.

.

Unbent

2008-04-15T04:50:55Z

CIMG0482.JPG, originally uploaded by ChrisG2000.

I'll have to explain this later....it's an interesting story how this bumper got mostly unbent...very odd and random story....but I'll save it for later.

Cynical much?

2008-03-20T04:00:28Z

Tag I'm it?

2008-03-13T12:13:52Z

For the past few days I think I've been fighting off a cold or something. Every morning I've gotten up and my throat has been sore. Yesterday morning I had a sinus headache. I took something for it and it went away but came back just before I left work to come home....and then it came back just before bed last night. Now I woke up at 4am (when Maya climbed into my bed) and I had that headache again and my throat is sore. If I do fend off this thing, I'll have to thank Airborne (or it's generic version) as I've been taking that a lot over the past few days. Plus drinking some tea while at work.

Speaking of work...
Monday evening when I was walking out to my car, I was somewhat walking with two other guys...at least they were within eyesight of me. One guy I know from my work group and the other I didn't know but looked like a cowboy (hat, vest...maybe even boots...drove a big red truck.) We all go to our cars about the same time and drove home. The next morning, about 15 hours later, I was pulling in the parking lot at work. And those two guys were also pulling into the parking lot at the same time. I just thought it was odd that I saw these two same guys the evening before and then again the very next morning. That's all.

What else....
Last Sunday Linda and I took Maya to the local drama theatre to see the musical, "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." I had always heard of this musical as it seems high schools often do this one, but I had never seen it before. I like attending plays...and even had grown to like musicals (for the most part), but I have to say, this musical didn't do it for me. I just didn't really get it. I mean, I was expecting something more to the plot. Growing up I would watch the Peanuts movies...and they usually had a plot, but not this musical. It was just basically slices of life of the Peanuts gang. Each scene really had nothing to do with any of the other scenes. I'm sure that's the way this musical was intended to be, but I was just expecting something more. And I really didn't care for the Snoopy character. I don't ever remember Snoopy talking...but perhaps I'm wrong about that. Plus I think he came across sort of mean. But I do think Maya liked it....she hasn't really spoken about it since then, but I think she liked it.

This Friday I'm taking her to a local hockey game. Linda has taken her to a few, but I have never taken her to one before.

Yesterday at her preschool was Wacky Dress Up day. Linda had her the night before and I guess she really did a number on her. She apparently was a cross between a cow girl and a ballerina with crazy pigtails and crazy tights. Linda said when she dropped her off a preschool, none of the other kids were really dressed up and one of the teachers just had mis-matched shoes. I guess most of the kids and teachers forgot it was Wacky Dress Up day. When I picked up Maya from Linda last night she was already out of costume so I never saw her. When I asked Linda if she had taken a picture of her, Linda said her camera's batteries were dead.
I asked Maya what the other kids thought of her costume and she said they all laughed. She said it kind of scared her.

Last night when I was putting Maya to bed, I was lying next to her reading her a book. After the book she said, "Dad, I have something to tell you. You're the safest man I know." Then she gave me a tight hug and a kiss.

Relationships and Lists

2008-03-04T06:48:10Z

Back around the time I was in college and dating H...or perhaps just after we broke up, I was on one of my camping trips with my Four Loser friends. Around the camp fire we were probing one of the Four Losers about his relationship with his girlfriend. We asked him if they talked about marriage or having kids some day. This Loser was never one to talk much about this relationships..at least to not to the Four Losers group. He was wise. Anyway after pushing him on the issue of marriage and/or kids, he simply said, "We don't talk about it." I didn't like that answer. What did he mean they didn't "talk about it"? How could that be? I was in a relationship and we talked about everything...all sorts of things...including our relationship and possible futures. I could not understand how two people in the same relationship "didn't talk about it."
But that was a long time ago...I was naive.
The truth is-- in relationships there are a lot of things that don't get discussed. In fact, there are lists...I'm sure both parties have their own list...of things that aren't discussed between the two people. Each item on the list was placed there for a very specific reason, but the main reason is that the person is just too afraid to discuss that topic with their mate. They are afraid of the other person's reaction or response. Or perhaps they are afraid of their own reaction. Or perhaps they are afraid of what it would mean to openly discuss this topic with their partner....yet again. Or perhaps they just have decided life with this person is just simpler without bringing one or two or three or four topics of discussions.
I submit that *all* relationships have these lists...and the longer the relationship or the more unstable/unhealthy the relationship, the longer this list becomes. Eventually there will be more things on this list than things off the list. And that is just sad. The trick, I guess, is trying to keep this list short and not being afraid of those items you feel compelled to place on the list.
But then again, what do I know?

Saying Thank You

2008-03-02T05:33:33Z

Before I was to pick up Maya from Linda for the night, I decided to grab some fast food for dinner. I called over to my sis's house to see I could eat it there. The only one home at my sis's was my nephew, Marcus. I asked if he had dinner already. He said no so I swung by their house to pick him up. We just went down the block and ordered our fast food to go. We came back to their house and ate our food. As I was literally on my way out the door I said good-night to Marcus. He said he was tired and would probably be going to bed soon. Then, just before I was out the door, he looked back at me has he was on his way into the kitchen and said, "Thank you for the food." I sort of paused for a second and I think I said, "You're welcome." But it was the simple act of him thanking me for the meager meal I paid for him that really made me proud of Marcus. It actually sort of caught me off guard.

Ever since I became a father, I think I've become much more sensitive to saying "Thank You" to people who have done things for me and/or Maya. I know whenever I go over to my parents for dinner, I also make sure I say "Thank you" to them when we leave. And I do think "modeling the way" really does work for kids. I've heard Maya say "Thank you" when someone does something for her...without my prompting her to do so. But it's still true that more often than not I do have to remind her to say "Thank You"...but it is happening more often that she does it on her own.

I really don't know why this specific thing has become more important to me than in the past, but I do know it has become more of a deal for me to say "Thank You" and for others to say "Thank you" to me when I do something for them. I mean I do notice it more when someone doesn't say "Thank you" to me when I do something for them. Hmmm....maybe it just means I'm getting older, I don't know.

bad mood

2008-02-27T01:30:56Z

For some reason I have just been in a generally bad mood. Not sure why or how to get out of it.

Memory

2008-02-17T16:29:34Z

On a complete whim, this morning I went out to 4allmemory.com and bought 4GB of RAM for my computer...for $120. On July 3 2006, I bought two 512 MB RAM sticks from 4allmemory.com....at that time those two 512 MB sticks came to $120. So today I bought four 1GB sticks that came to $120. Using paypal to buy the memory really made it even easier to buy. So in 4 to 4 days (free shipping) I'll double my computer's memory from 2GB to 4GB. I just wish I could do that to my own memory.

Lots of new photos

2008-02-16T22:00:44Z

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cegarcia2000
Since I've been using the eye-fi SD card in my camera I have a lot of recent photos up at flickr.